Karma Chameleon
by King in Yellow
Summary: A VerinVerdandi drawing at Deviantart made me wonder why Kim needed to borrow Shego's clothes. It inspired a one-shot which grew via some odd twists. Yes, plot bunnies were harmed while filming this story, but not giant wiener dogs. Not BE Universe.
1. How to Sell a Contradiction

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**How to sell a contradiction**

"What are we going to do about her?" Ron asked, jerking his head toward the woman standing with them in the smoking ruins of Drakken's latest former lair.

"Yeah," Shego taunted, "what are you going to do about me?"

Kim stood, with hands carefully in place, so as to preserve any modesty as she could with the remnants of clothing available to her. "Ron, I'm, uh, not dressed for a fight."

"May I count the ways for boy wonder, Princess?" Shego smirked. "First, you lost your fancy tools when I captured you today and they're probably buried right there." She pointed to a large chunk of concrete, once ceiling but now lying smashed on the floor. "Night's coming and there's no way a rescue party will be here for at least twelve hours. So tell me, sidekick," Shego glared at him, "what are you going to do about me?"

"She saved our lives, Ron." The redhead turned to the green woman, "You could have escaped with Drakken. Why did you stay?"

"I, uh, got cut off. I didn't make it to the escape pod."

"Nuh-huh," Rufus added.

"Is the rat contradicting me?"

"He and I saw you leave the pod," Ron said. "You made it."

"It was overcrowded," Shego argued. "The fire marshal wouldn't allow that many on board, Drakken told me to stay."

"And for once in your life you listened to Drakken?" Kim asked.

"I'd have figured you to throw off a henchman," Ron suggested.

"Okay, okay," Shego growled. "I stayed."

"You did more than stay," Kim reminded her, "you saved us."

"Told you once before, Cupcake, not going to let anyone else kill you - reserving that for myself. And I'm not going to let a lab explosion take you out either."

Ron seemed puzzled, "So, you saved us so you could destroy us? And people think I don't make any sense."

"Shucks, twern't nutthin' any cowpoke woudn't hav done in my sich-e-ation."

Rufus scratched his head, "Huh?"

"She speaks fluent hombre," Kim reminded Ron, "and is distracting you."

"Look, We'uns kin stand here all night, jawbonin' or--"

"Will you drop the hombre lingo, Shego, please?"

"Only if you stop accusing me of saving your worthless butts."

"Fine, we'll drop it, right Ron?" The blond man nodded in agreement. _"But you did," _Kim thought.

Ron's thoughts took a practical turn, "Did Drakken have any candles around, 'cause it's going to be dark soon."

"I've got some in my quarters - if the roof didn't collapse. Come on, Kim, I'll find something for you to wear."

Ron fell in step behind them, "Where you going?" Shego hissed.

"Not letting you separate me and Kim, I figure you want to divide and conquer."

"Fine!" she snapped, "I'll stay here and you two can blunder around in the dark looking for candles."

"Fine," Ron retorted.

"Uh, Ron," Kim intervened, "you're very sweet, but I want something to wear. And I don't want you behind me."

Shego laughed and gestured for Ron to take the lead, "I'll tell you where to go, Stoppable. I'll be happy to tell you where to go."

"Shego," Kim chided, "he's being thoughtful."

The pale woman grumbled, "This is the thanks I get for saving your… you money on car insurance?"

Kim smiled, but kept her mouth shut.

Ron stood by the door to Shego's quarters, torn by whether to let Kim go in by herself, or the fact watching her change would be awkward.

"Here, try these, Pumpkin," Shego said, tossing her a green sports bra and oversized green rugby shirt with black stripes.

"Could you turn around, please," Kim requested.

"Nope, don't trust you any more than Stoppable, trusts me."

Kim shrugged and put on the offered clothing. It wasn't any different than changing after cheerleading practice.

Shego pulled candles from a chest of drawers, and Kim said nothing about them being aroma therapy candles.

Impulsively Kim gave Shego a hug, "Thanks."

The green woman pushed her away, "It's nothing."

Since the lab lost electrical power when the generator blew Shego pulled items from the former freezer and heated them with plasma power for supper.

"You two are welcome to sleep anywhere you want," she told them afterwards. "I'm sleeping in my bed. It's big enough for two if one of you trusts me."

"Flip a coin, KP?"

Kim reached across the table, and slapped him just hard enough to get his attention. "Find a soft piece of floor. I'm not letting you sleep with her."

The candle faintly illuminated the room, Kim noticed Shego staring at the darkness of the ceiling. "Why," the younger woman asked.

"Don't know… Maybe not as good as getting out from Hego's shadow as I'd like."

"Why do you need to? You could--"

"Shut up, Princess, and go to sleep," Shego growled, turning her back to Kim.

It took Kim a few minutes to orient herself on waking up in the morning. Light shone in the room from a large crack in one wall. Shego was not in bed with her, Kim sat up and looked around the room. "Shego?" Kim called softly. No answer. "Shego!" Kim called a little louder, still without a response. Suddenly terrified for Ron she went running out, and tripped over him asleep in the hall. "Are you okay," she asked, clinging to him tightly.

"Fine, KP, what's wrong?"

"Shego's gone, I was afraid she might have hurt you."

"After saving our lives yesterday?"

"I don't understand her, Ron. I didn't know what to think."

"Well, you can take the hero out of the team, but you can't take the team out of the hero."

"That made no sense at all," Kim laughed, "but I think you're right."


	2. Every Day Is Like Survival

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Blame RonHeartbreaker for this continuation. He claimed the one-shot was too KiGo.

**Every Day Is Like Survival**

"Whad you god, Wade?"

"You okay Kim? You sound awful."

Kim's mother took the Kimmunicator, "She's got a terrible cold."

"That's bad. You noticed power going off for a minute this afternoon?"

"Yes."

"Drakken. The transdimensional flux capacitor Shego stole last week means he can drain the entire North American power grid - store it all in a parallel dimension. He's given the US and Canada forty-eight hours to recognize him as ruler or he'll put us in the Dark Ages."

Kim grabbed the Kimmunicator back from her mother, "God a location?"

"Yeah, the test this afternoon let me trace the source."

"Gread! I'll--"

"You'll do nothing, young lady," her mother said, pushing her back into bed. "You've got a fever. Global Justice or someone else can handle it."

As Ron crept through the quiet corridor he whispered to Rufus, "You remember the plan, little buddy?" The rat nodded. "You grab the doohicky, I'll provide distraction if necessary." Rufus raised a paw and Ron gave him a high five.

Shego filed her claws and watched the monitor. Drakken had taken the henchmen out for karaoke night to celebrate a plan that might work. She'd begged off, volunteering to watch the lair. She figured Kim's genius would trace the earlier test and expected the cheerleader and buffoon to break in any moment. She smiled as a red light came on and thermal sensors traced a green blip towards the control room. _"They must be sharing the same pair of pants, I'm only seeing one blip."_

"Where's the theatrics, Princess!" Shego taunted, "I know you're in here." She started looking around and Ron stepped out from behind a machine, anxious to keep her from discovering Rufus.

"Just me."

"You? Want to surrender now? I'd hate to break a nail by accident. Where's Pumpkin?"

"Bad cold. I'm not gonna surrender."

He dodged the plasma balls she hurled more easily than she expected. Ron planned on playing it safe, but Shego noticed a flash of pink from the corner of her eye as Rufus was forced to dash across an open space. When she turned her attention to Rufus Ron realized he had to save his buddy and hit Shego with a block that would have made Mr. Barkin proud. His shoulder went into her stomach and they hit the floor, the breath knocked out of her.

They struggled fiercely for several minutes, until Shego suddenly hit Ron in the mouth -- with her lips. _"Oh, I've got the perfect way to piss off Princess,"_ she thought to herself.

Surprised he stopped fighting.

"I can think of a much better way to expend that energy," she whispered as her lips left his.

Ron looked dazed, "What are you doing?"

"Doh! I'm unbuttoning your shirt."

"Why… I mean, stop! Don't!"

"Okay, we can start with me." She reached up, found the zipper of her suit and pulled it down eight inches, giving Ron a nice display of cleavage. She then took his hand and guided it to the zipper, "Your choice, you can pull it up and go home now, or you can pull it down and have a night you'll remember for the rest of your life."

Ron stared in awe at his hand as it trembled in the warmth between her breasts.

"What's it going to be," she smiled at him.

"You'll kill me if I pull it down."

"Nope."

"You'll tell Kim. She'll kill me."

"I promise not to tell Kim," Shego whispered.

"Not sure I can believe you…"

"Of course you can't," Shego laughed. "But Kim believes you. If I'm lying to you and tell her, you can deny it and she'll trust you."

Ron hesitated, staring hard at her breasts.

"You don't get all night to decide, Stoppable. Offer can be withdrawn at any time. One… Two…"

Ron didn't know if Shego planned to count to ten, or just three. He made his move at two.

"Good choice," Shego chuckled. Ron stared at his handiwork, not believing what he'd done. "You don't need to limit yourself to looking, you know," Shego told him, taking his hand and guiding it to her bare breast.

Shego closed her eyes and purred in encouragement as Ron explored her body.

"Oww!"

"Sorry," Ron apologized.

"That's okay," Shego told him. "Every woman is different. Some may tell you to bite hard. Others want you to be very gentle. You have to be sensitive to her."

"I figured you'd like--"

"Ask her! And I like gentle. Now, if you want the next lesson you've got to take off your clothes."

A half hour later a happy Ron mumbled, "Wow." He looked at the woman beside him, "Uh, how was I?" he asked nervously.

"It was your first time, right?" He nodded in agreement. "No one's great the first time - except in porn. But you were okay for a first timer."

Ron smiled as she gently massaged the back of his neck. Or rather he failed to notice her looking for a nerve. He slipped into quiet unconsciousness as Shego pinched it.

Rufus chattered angrily at Shego.

"I'm not going to hurt him," she promised the rat.

Ron woke up a half hour later with the feel of Shego's lips on his throat. "Did I doze off?"

"Yeah, it's a guy thing. You'd better get out of here -- Drakken will be back soon."

Ron grabbed his clothes and headed for the door. "Oh, look in a mirror before you see Kim," she shouted to him as he left, "there's a bruise on your neck."

Kim stared hard as Ron explained, "Rufus is the real hero; I just, uh, distracted her."

"Ron, it's eighty-seven degrees outside… Why are you wearing a turtleneck?"


	3. A Man without Conviction

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Registered trade names property of their owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**A Man without Conviction**

Kim wasn't sure when the school day became the Twilight Zone. The morning had started normally, but now at lunch she noticed various students staring at her and whispering and giggling among themselves. Monique hadn't spoken a word to her yet, and Kim sensed the chill of frost in the silence.

The silence at their table was broken when Bonnie stalked over and demanded, "Kim, how could you?"

"How could I what?"

Bonnie stared at Kim, aghast at her lack of shame, "Well, I never!" and turned and flounced away.

"I'll bet she did," Kim whispered to Monique.

'Nique gave Kim the fisheye, "Girl, you used to have some class."

"What are you talking about?"

Monique had an angry tone in her voice, "What you did to Ron, the whole school is talking."

Kim sighed, "I've got no idea what you mean."

"He had gym class second period and took a shower!" She stared at Kim, who looked back blankly.

"And?" the redhead asked.

"Everyone saw his back!"

"I still don't understand."

Monique appeared thunderstruck, "It wasn't you?"

Kim resisted the urge to grab Monique by the shoulders and shake her until her teeth rattled, "What about Ron's back?"

"Uh… Never mind."

"Tell me!" Kim demanded.

"Look, I didn't see Ron's back, I just heard a rumor--"

"Tell me the rumor."

"Momma said I shouldn't repeat rumors."

"Please, I'm desperate."

Monique was silent for a minute, "Well, I don't know this is true. I'm just repeating it because you asked… The story is that Ron has some bruises on his back--"

"He was in a fight."

"Girl, these bruises are hickies. And they're in the shape of big heart, and inside the heart more hickies spell out KP & RS."

Kim sat dumbfounded, after a long silence Monique heard her friend mutter a soft, "Oh."

"Rumor, Kim. Probably just some stupid rumor -- like the people who claim to see the image of Bill Gates on their toast."

"Jesus."

"Don't swear," Monique scolded

"Not swearing, people think they see the image of Jesus on their toast."

"Jesus, Bill Gates, same difference."

Kim didn't laugh. "I'm sure Ron can explain when he comes in for lunch," she said with little confidence in her voice.

_"If he comes in for lunch,"_ Monique thought.

_"He's not coming for lunch,"_ Kim realized.

Ron's back stung just a little after his recent adventure. He had chalked it up to bruises suffered during the struggle… Well, one of the struggles. Kim had been pretty cool about accepting the bruise on his neck as an injury.

"I, uh, didn't want you to worry about me," he said as she examined his neck.

"She's dangerous, I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Didn't hurt a bit," Ron laughed nervously.

"I'm not going to say what this looks like," Kim muttered

"Why, what does it look like?"

"Never mind," Kim blushed.

_"I'm going to live,"_ Ron thought.

He thought he realized the trap when he arrived at school the next day. He wanted to tell someone, anyone, and couldn't. They'd never believe him, and it might get to Kim. The thought of how it might hurt her worried him more than the thought of how she might hurt him.

But as he showered after gym, Ron began to hear laughter, whistles, and calls of "Way to go, Ron!"

By the time he realized what had happened it was too late. _"I'm going to die."_

In the afternoon, between classes, Kim prowled the hall, looking for Ron.

"No," Bonnie answered when asked if she'd seen him.

As soon as Kim was out of sight Bonnie opened her locker and Ron extracted himself.

"Thanks, Bon."

"Not doing it for you, you know. I'm just doing it to spite Kim."

"Yeah, I know, but thanks anyway."

Bonnie sniffed, "Avoid Kim, you smell like my perfume."

After the next period she quizzed Felix.

"Have you seen Ron?"

"Lots of times," Felix said cheerfully, "he's my best friend."

"Today."

"Yeah, before home room, after first period. I'm in third period with him.--"

"You know what I mean," Kim snarled.

"No idea," he answered innocently.

"Men! You always stick together," Kim grumbled before stalking off.

"Is she gone?" the garbage can asked.

"She's gone."

The lid of the garbage can raised up and Ron stepped out, brushing off odd bits of litter.

"What really happened," Felix asked.

"Long story," Ron sighed, "I'll write from Norway and give you the details."

"Norway?"

"It's beautiful this time of year. Oh, and if Kim asks, say Japan." Ron sniffed, "Hey, I don't smell like Bonnie any more!"

Felix hoped Ron explained that also.

Kim sped outside at the final bell and found a spot where she could watch the main and side entrances. She scanned the faces of departing students in vain for Ron. She saw nothing out of the ordinary, except Monique helping an elderly visitor from the school. The old woman was shaking badly and leaned on a cane and the black woman's arm. With Monique's assistance she hobbled off in the direction opposite of Ron's house.

"Thanks, Mon," Ron whispered. "Why you doing this?"

"'Cause I don't want one of my two best friends arrested for murdering the other one of my two best friends. How could you do it?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"If that's the best you got I should have thrown you to her."

After taking off the disguise borrowed from the theater department Ron tried to think of where to go. Bueno Nacho was too obvious. He considered a chick flick, but feared she'd expect him to try the unexpected. When he finally got home, taking a circuitous route and sneaking through alleys, he went in the back door. At last he felt safe.

Kim was sitting on his bed when he opened his bedroom door.

"Your mom said I could wait here. We need to talk."


	4. If I Listened to Your Lies

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney.

**If I Listened to Your Lies **

Her crying was the worst part. He felt terrible when he put an arm around her to try and comfort her and she shook it off in disgust, but the crying was the worst part. He wished she had hit him, wondered if it could have made them both feel better. It would have made him feel better to accept it as payment for the pain he caused her.

And not much talking was done. He had no words that could help her.

After leaving, Kim got on the kimmunicator. Wade gave her a knowing smile, "So, I hear you and Ron--"

"You heard Ron and I what?" she asked harshly. "And where did you hear it?"

"There was a lot of blogging by Middleton High students today. The story is--"

"I know the story," Kim said in a tired voice.

"Then you didn't?"

"NO! I didn't."

"Then…"

"Shego. She made him an offer he didn't refuse."

"Shego? Wow!"

"You don't need to sound envious," she snapped.

"Sorry, Kim, I… Shego? Wow…"

"Seriously, I mean if Shego made you that offer, would you take it?"

A smile slowly spread across Wade's face. "Seriously? Sorry, Kim…"

"Men! You're all stupid."

"'Fraid so, the stupid gene is on the Y chromosome." His voice took on a softer tone as he asked, "What can I do for you?"

"I need you to find Shego - and a ride to wherever she is. This just got personal."

"Not a good idea."

"Please, we've got to settle this."

"I'll do my best," he sighed.

Wade called back the next morning. "Found her. She's on her way to Europe. She's got a reservation at that spa in Greece."

"Can you get me a ride?"

"This is a school day. Your dad doesn't like you skipping school to save the world."

"I'm not saving the world, I'm saving face."

Kim had time to think on the flight. She wished the confrontation wouldn't take place at the spa. It reminded her of her attack on Shego there, and how Shego had rescued her from Warmonga. - which reminded her of Shego's help when a pirate's spirit had taken over Drakken. And she thought of times the two had let their guards down and laughed at the same jokes. _"She must be insane. Sometimes she acts like she wants to be my friend. Sometimes she tries to kill me. What's wrong with her?"_ Kim wondered if Shego really needed psychiatric evaluation, but she needed a beating first.

Shego sat on a lounge chair, wearing nothing but an over-sized towel, avocado masque, and sunglasses, as she read her magazine and waited her appointment with the masseuse. A shadow fell on her.

"How could you?"

Shego looked up over the top of her sunglasses, "How could I what, Pumpkin?"

"With Ron?"

"Pretty easy, actually, you just… Oh, wait you haven't. Trust me, Princess, it isn't that difficult. Just lie back and think of England when the time comes."

"You… You…"

"Did you come here to thank me for doing you a favor?" Shego mocked.

"Doing me a favor?"

"Absolutely. I moved him up totally clueless to possessing a clue. You should be thankful."

"Thankful?"

"For breaking him in. He's got potential. If I give him three or four more lessons you'll be so grateful for the results you'll name your firstborn after me… Better hope it's a girl." She wondered how long she could goad Kim before the redhead snapped.

"His back?"

"Hey, that's the sort of thing that gives a man a little confidence - and confidence goes to their heads, since there's nothing else there. That put your brand on him, told everyone he's yours."

Tears started to form in Kim's eyes, "You ruined my reputation at the high school."

Shego visibly started, "High school? Oh, God. Sometimes I forget… I'm sorry, Kim."

Hearing pity in the older woman's voice stung more than being taunted, she tackled the pale green woman.

Shego got up and gingerly felt her lip, noticing blood on her fingers. "Dammit, Kim! I said I was sorry."

"Sorry don't cut it," Kim snarled, and tackled Shego again. The impact knocked Shego's towel off her and sent them both tumbling into the large, circular mineral mud bath.

"We're settling this here, today," Kim promised as she swung at Shego, and missed. The older woman ducked under Kim's attack and ripped the shirt off the redhead - if she had to fight nude so would Kim. Shego figured the experience would be more distracting for the younger woman. But the time it took to tear off the top slowed Shego down, Kim caught her foe and both went down into the muck.

_"I've got to prove I can really beat her,"_ both thought.

After twenty minutes of grappling neither had a clear edge, although both were bruised and completely covered in mud.

Kim slipped out of headlock and knocked Shego down, _"Why isn't she using her plasma power? I can't dodge at this range."_

Shego had expected an easy victory, but finally realized it wouldn't happen. Kim fought at least as well as she did, and maybe, the older woman began to fear, even better.

Kim tripped, catching a mouthful of mud, but before Shego could capitalize on the error, "You both vill raisin' your hands, macht schnell," a gutteral voice commanded.

The two women wiped mud from their eyes and stared at the ring of Professor Dementor's hired muscle surrounding the mud pit, each holding a large ugly weapon. Neither woman knew what the weapons were capable of doing, and neither wished to find out. If they weren't knee-deep in mud they could have escaped, but not out of mud.

Panting from exertion the women looked at their captors

"Zo, vhich of you iz Shego?" Dementor demanded.

Each woman pointed at the other.

"No matter," he gloated, "I believe dat der other iz Kim Possible. Mit both Kim Possible and Agent Ninety-nine as mein hostages dere is no von who can schtop me." He gestured to a henchman, "Der shackles."


	5. Hear Your Wicked Words Every Day

Disney owns the characters from Kim Possible.

**Hear Your Wicked Words Every Day.**

Although shackled Kim and Shego's guards watched them closely during the helicopter ride to Dementor's castle, but out of respect for their fighting prowess or because they wore nothing but a layer of mud wasn't clear.

At the castle the two were herded into a small cell. Dementor placed two canvas jump suits on the bunk, tossed the key to the shackles into the cell, and closed and locked the door.

Kim dove for the key, a poor decision with her hands fastened behind her. After groping for the key she couldn't insert it in the lock, and had difficulty struggling to her feet.

"Gimme the damn key," Shego demanded.

"Why?"

"So I can unlock you. You won't unlock me first because you don't trust me."

"You're right… Why will you unlock me?"

"Doh! You're a hero, you'll unlock me."

They stood, back-to-back as Shego struggled to find the lock.

"Shego," Kim hissed, "Watch it!"

"I can't see what I'm doing, remember? Now stand still and stop squirming."

Kim freed Shego after her own arms were free. The back of the cell contained a shower and toilet. The cell's front had a surveillance camera on the ceiling, and a window in the door through which guards could watch them.

Shego opened her mouth to offer to wash Kim's back, then remembered they shared a small cell and she decided to play nice, "I'll hold up a blanket to give you some privacy if you'll return the favor," she offered.

Grateful that, at least for the moment, she seemed to be incarcerated with 'good' Shego the redhead accepted, although she felt uncomfortable under Shego's gaze as she showered and dressed.

Kim avoided looking at the older woman as she showered. "What do you think is happening?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, but Drakken and Dementor both wanted the prototype transdimensional flux capacitor--"

"What kind of stupid invention is that?"

"That 'stupid' invention may help the energy crisis," Shego said with a condescending tone. "Use your head. You generate electricity from solar power in places like the Sahara or Kalahari, put it into storage, then retrieve it elsewhere without power lines and only losing seven and a half percent of the power generated."

"Or you have madmen messing up the power supply."

"You can build a house with a hammer, or murder someone. It's not the hammer's fault… You can look now, Princess, I'm decent."

_"I doubt that."_ "Okay, how do we bust out?"

Shego stretched out on the bunk, "I doubt if _we_ do."

Kim's jaw dropped, "You're giving up?"

"No, but this cell was designed for just me. I trust Dementor did it right--"

"That's giving up!"

"Let me finish! The cell's so small we'll get in each other's way if we're both looking for weak points, and you're so gung-ho to get away from me you'll go nuts if I tell you to relax and let me look."

While Kim examined the walls Shego stared at the door. She trusted the 'glass' had thermal properties to keep her from melting it, but she wanted to see how often the guards looked in. Very often, it appeared, and at irregular intervals. She wondered if they were under orders to check frequently, or if they hoped to see Shego or Kim without clothes… Their close scrutiny gave Shego an idea, which Kim wouldn't like. "Should I mention I have a plan?"

"Great! What?" Kim demanded

"Can't tell you."

"Why?"

"You won't do it, sorry I mentioned it."

"I might!"

"You won't"

"You don't have a plan, you're just saying that."

"Fine, I'm kidding. Hope you find one."

With no tools available Kim tried blows on all the walls and cell doors in vain. "I've seen you melt glass," she reminded Shego, "Can you burn us out."

The green woman pointed to the walls, "Thermal tiles. The stuff they use on heat shields. This place will be an oven long before I can burn us out."

"You can try."

Fortunately Shego could endure heat better than Kim. The cell was over two hundred degrees when she called cheerily, "Happy now?"

Kim, sitting under a stream of cold water in the shower, responded, "Shut up."

As the hour grew late Kim asked, "What do we do about sleeping?"

"What do you mean?"

"The obvious."

"We've slept together before."

"That was a queen-size. We didn't touch. The bunk is…"

"Intimate?"

"Narrow."

"You can have the floor or we spoon."

"Spoon?"

"We both sleep on the same side, one of us on the 'inside' and one on the 'outside'. You want to be 'spooner' or 'spoonee'?"

"I don't _want_ to be either," Kim insisted.

"Fine, happy floor."

"I don't want the floor either," Kim grumbled. "And I won't hold you."

"Then you're the spoonee. You sleep on your right or left?"

The guards ignored their requests to dim the lights as they sought a comfortable position. Kim wouldn't have admitted it, but under the circumstances Shego's arm, draped across her in a protective way, was vaguely comforting.

"You really know a way out?" Kim whispered.

Shego yawned, "Really."

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"I already explained. You won't like it. You'll want to figure out another way. I'm going to wait until you're desperate. Then there's a chance you'll try."

"Please, Shego, I'm almost desperate now. Just tell me what your plan is so I'll know there's one to fall back on if I can't find something else."

"You don't want to hear it," Shego warned again.

"Yes I do! I won't be able to sleep if I'm trying to figure out how to escape. Tell what you figured out and I'll be able to sleep."

"Forget it. Let me sleep."

"I can keep asking all night."

"Hell, you've brought it on yourself. You really want to know how we can get out of here?"

"Yes!"

"Fine, have HLS with me."

"HLS?"

"Hot lesbian sex. Now let me sleep."

Kim's eyes were wide open. That revelation would not help her sleep the way she had hoped.


	6. You Come and Go,

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

**You Come and Go**

"Ron," his mom called, "phone. It's Kim's mother."

"Hello?"

"Hello, Ronald?"

"Yes."

"I had a message saying Kim wasn't in school today. Do you have any idea where she is?"

"Uh, sorry. I didn't see her and just figured she had a relapse from her cold. She isn't at home?"

"No, and her father and I are very worried. It's not like her to go somewhere without leaving a note."

_"This is my fault."_ "Can I give Wade a call and get back with you?"

"Please, and get back with us as quickly as you can."

"She headed for Greece this morning," Wade told him. "She was going to fight with Shego or something."

"She hasn't asked for a ride home?"

"No, and I'm sort of worried." Wade suddenly began to frantically type, "Let me check the wire services for any news from Greece."

_"This is my fault."_

"Uh, Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"You and Shego? Really?"

"Don't ask, Wade. I'm worried about Kim."

"Sorry, you're right. Um, after we find out she's okay?"

"Definitely."

"Uh-oh," Wade exclaimed as his fingers stopped flying over the keyboard and he stared at an image on his monitor.

"Uh-oh?"

"Security camera of two women mud-wrestling."

"Wade, please, we're looking for news on Kim."

"It's from the spa where Kim went to see Shego."

"Oh, God, it can't get any worse."

"Actually, it can…"

Ron looked up, "God," he apologized, "I'm sorry I dared you to make things worse."

"Dementor and company took them hostage… Helicopter flew off in the direction of his castle."

"How fast can you get me a ride?"

"Ron… I can't get you a ride."

"But, I need to--"

"Ron. I want to get you a ride. But no one will give you one. Does Coke in the radio sound familiar?"

"Accidents happen."

"Disconnecting the radar?"

"We didn't hit that mountain."

"Trying to play video games on the GPS system?"

"What's your point, Wade?"

"I mean; no one with half a brain will give you a ride."

"You're wrong," Ron declared with a note of quiet dignity. "Call Kim's mom and tell her what's happened."

"Why, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find someone with half a brain to give me a ride."

Ron snuck through the corridors of the Drakken's lair with a curious combination of guilt over how he had hurt Kim and "Wow!" feelings which only made him feel more guilty.

He located Drakken in the main lab, bent over a table covered with bubbling retorts and other lab apparatus. The blue man screamed in surprise when Ron laid a hand on his shoulder. "Shego!"

"She's not here," Ron reminded him.

"Oh, that's right, she… Hey, how did you know that?"

"It's on the web. She was captured by Professor Dementor."

"And you and Kim Possible have come out to defeat me when I don't have my bodyguard?"

"Uh, actually I'm here by myself."

"Yourself? Really?"

"Yeah, just me, I--"

The news seemed to upset Drakken, "What? I don't even rate a hero anymore? I've been reduced to them sending unaccompanied sidekicks after me? Where's the respect?"

"Uh, Dude, I'm sorry. I, uh, thought you might want to go try and rescue Shego."

"Rescue Shego?"

"You've done it before."

"Well, yes… But her brothers were never much of a real threat. Dementor? I've been having back pains and--"

"I'll be going with you."

"You'll be coming with me? Why?"

"Dementor captured Kim too."

"Kim Two? I don't think I've heard of her. A clone?"

"No, not Kim Two, when he took Shego he grabbed Kim also."

"Kim Also? I know I never heard of her."

"Kim Possible! He has Kim Possible!" Ron shouted.

"Just how many Kims does Dementor have?"

"Look, I'm saying you and I need to rescue Shego and Kim Possible."

"Leave the other Kims with Dementor?"

"Yes, it will be easier that way." _"Okay, maybe I can't find someone with half a brain to give me a ride."_

"Wait, you're asking me to rescue my arch foe?"

"No, I'm just saying you need to--"

"Quiet, I can't let the henchmen know what we're discussing."

"We can whisper," Ron said softly.

"Not good enough. I've been dying to try this piece of equipment I bought at a government surplus auction."

"Uh, 'been dying' doesn't sound like a recommendation."

"Nonsense, Donald, stand there while I activate the cone of silence."

Ron nervously stood on the mark Drakken indicated, and Rufus, like a rat deserting a sinking ship, left the safety of Ron's pocket for a corner of the room. Drakken stood on another mark and pressed a switch. "I even read the manual," he boasted. "We'll be able to talk in complete privacy."

Two large, plexi-glass domes lowered from the ceiling, enclosing the men from their heads to their knees.

"Much better, Randy. Now, you said something about Shego and Kim in grease?"

"What? I can't hear you."

"What?"

**"Louder, I can't hear you!"** Ron shouted

**"You want to be near me?"**

**"Yes, Dementor captured them and took them to his castle!"**

**"What?"**

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! CAN WE GO RESCUE SHEGO?" _"Got to emphasize Shego when I'm talking with Drakken,"_ Ron thought.

"YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE. WHAT MISCUE ON THE SCHEDULE?"

"YES, I CAN LEAVE THEN."

"LEAVEN? WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BAKING BREAD?" Veins were standing out on Drakken's forehead as he yelled at Ron.

**"PERFECT! SO, WE CAN LEAVE NOW?"**

**"NO, IT WOULD BE BETTER IF WE LEFT NOW."**

**"I DON'T WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG."**

**"WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO STOP AT YOUR HOME! YOU CAN BUY ONE THERE."**

The men smiled at each other, glad to be in perfect agreement. Drakken hit the switch to raise the device, lowering the domes to the floor where both men were trapped.

---

**Author's Note**: I fear this story will get longer. I needed a confrontation with a giant wiener dog in this chapter to stay on schedule. I fear the (there was no) original outline may be extended by two or three chapters.


	7. Loving Would Be Easy If

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Loving Would Be Easy If **

Kim sat on the bunk, hugging the pillow in her arms as she watched Shego look for weak spots in the cell.

"Last night… Did you say that to scare me, or are you demanding payment before you tell me your plan, or is that your plan?"

"It's my plan, Princess," Shego told her while scanning the ceiling.

"I'm not going to do it, but how is that a plan?"

"The guards are as hetero as your boyfriend, and aren't any brighter. If I can't get one to open the door I've seriously lost it."

"It?"

"Trust me Kim, you have 'it' too, you just haven't discovered it yet. Show them a sample, issue an invitation and--"

"You wouldn't!"

"No, I wouldn't. But if they're dumb enough think I would and open the door they deserve a kick in the head."

"And if they don't open the door?"

Shego shrugged, "We had fun trying."

"Can't we try staging a fight?"

"Well, A, that cliché has been done to death, and B, Dementor probably wouldn't mind if one of us beat the other's head in, and C, if my plan doesn't work I can accuse you of being a lousy lover and we can try the fight. They're not going to believe us if we fight first and then try HLS."

"So, you're talking about faking it, correct?"

"Depends on what you mean by faking it. We've got to make it look real to sell it to the audience."

"But you're not a lesbian. I mean, you did it with Ron, right?"

"Tell me, would you divide the world into people who like chicken and people who like beef?"

"No - that's ridiculous. I like them both."

"Good, so do I, Kimmie." Shego raised one eyebrow and gave Kim an evil grin. "I like beef, but I also like chicken."

It took a minute for Kim to get it. "Beef! I like beef!"

"I thought you were still vegetarian?"

Kim blushed crimson. "I am! I'll just prefer beef when, ah, the time comes."

"Didn't your mother tell you to try new things? You never heard, 'Try it, you might like it'?"

"Sure, but I don't think that applies here."

"I'm pretty sure it does, Princess… Would it make you feel any better if I told you I'm really sorry about suggesting this?"

"A little… I was afraid you really wanted sex with me."

"Oh, I do. But not like this. Not in front of Dementor's goons. No, a nice romantic dinner with a decadent chocolate dessert, back to my place for a sensuous massage, then scented candles for light and atmosphere in the bedroom, and a king-size bed with satin sheets. You'll look good in white lace--"

"Ron is my boyfriend!"

"Okay, we can ask him along too. I'll let him watch."

"Shego!"

"Fine, he can participate. But I do my best teaching one-on-one."

Kim fell silent for several minutes, trying to work up enough courage to continue the conversation. Shego closely examined the thermal tiles, wondering if any could be pried off so that her plasma power might free them. Finally Kim asked, in a gentle voice, "Have you ever considered, ah, psychological testing?"

"You think I'm nuts?"

"I didn't say nuts… It's just that some of what you say doesn't make sense."

Shego sat down on the other end of the bunk, "Can you give me a for instance?"

"Well, you say you'd like to have sex with me… Why? Is that some sort of power trip thing for you?"

The green woman stared off into space. "Why would I like to have sex with you… On a purely physical level I find you attractive. I think it's more than that. I like your grace, your intelligence, your sense of humor and your taste in clothes. You remind me of me. I probably want to have sex with you because it would be like making love to myself." Shego grinned at Kim and the redhead chuckled nervously.

"Seriously, Kim, I even like your integrity. I like the fire of your spirit. Why wouldn't I find you desirable?"

"Then why do you hate me? Why do you try and hurt me?"

"I don't hate you…" Shego began, then it was her turn to fall silent and stare off vacantly into space. "Okay, maybe part of me does. Ever have something you felt like you did better than anyone else in the world?"

"I'm… not… sure."

"I did. I can fight. Sometimes I felt like it was the only thing I could do well--"

"You're a good thief."

Shego laughed, "Kim, you have no idea just how bad I am. No. I can fight. Hego can lift a pickup. But when we sparred I could put him down. He could never touch me -- and a couple times I got him mad enough to try…" Shego closed her eyes, "Oh, God, I'm my idiot brother."

"So when I beat you--"

Shego flushed with anger, "You didn't beat me as often as you think you did!"

"I beat you all the time!" Kim's voice rose in anger also.

"You've got no idea how many fights I threw."

"Really, is that why you had to use Ron to try and hurt me? It was too easy beating me in fights?"

"I didn't say you never beat me! I said you didn't beat me as often as you think… And…"

"And?"

"And you and Ron are both nice. I don't meet many nice people... in my line of work. I knew it would hurt you… But Ron is... okay."

The two women fell silent, having shared more honesty than either wanted to hear or admit.

The silence was broken by the cheery voice of Dementor from the opening at the door. "Gut news! Mein spy at Global Justice sends vord your friends dere vill be trying to rescue you in dree hours. Vell, gut news für me. Der surprise attack vill meet mein surprise defense."


	8. You Come and Go

Disney owns the characters from the Kim Possible series.

**You come and go**

"Good job," Ron congratulated Rufus again and handed him another piece of the neon orange product euphemistically known as cheese puffs, a snack that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese. "Nice that someone knows hydraulics."

"I followed the specs from the manual," Drakken snarled.

"I'm just saying it was nice to have someone there to save us."

"And I'm just saying it's a long walk from the middle of the Atlantic to Middleton."

As their destination neared Ron suggested, "We should approach from the west. When you had Kim and me steal the transportulator--"

"Teleportation module."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Dementor invented it, and called it the transportulator. Anyway, the only road up the mountain is a narrow road on the east. West is basically impossible to climb, so no one will be looking. You can… What do you do with this thing? Park? Land? Hover? Leave it in neutral?"

"We should leave it on hover for a fast get-away. There's a mooring line in that case by your left foot."

The Fates, as if to atone for leaving Ron a couple cards short of a full deck, kissed him once again with luck. Most of Dementor's men lay in ambush, awaiting the attack of Global Justice agents up the only road which provided access to the mountain - and which could be blocked, denying the agents the ability to retreat. And those who were not waiting in ambush (including four who should have been) were currently preoccupied with watching the prisoners.

They moored the craft about ten feet below the summit and by mutual consent let Rufus tie the hovercraft to a piton driven into the cliff wall. Somehow it just seemed safer that way.

As the two crested the sheer edge of mountain loud barking filled Ron with dread, he had forgotten Kim's warning about Dementor's giant dachshunds until he heard huge creatures scrambling towards them, "I think we're in trouble, Doc."

"Ha, some of us plan ahead," the blue man replied and reached a bag he'd brought with him.

"Hope you got steak in there." Almost two meters tall at the shoulder the first dachshund rounded the corner of the castle and headed straight for the pair, "Oh, my… That's the second biggest wiener dog I've ever seen."

As Drakken frantically searched through his bag Ron imagined he could feel the hot breath of the monster. Suddenly the blue man cried, "Aha!" and his hand emerged from the duffel holding bratwurst!

The dachshund skidded to a halt and sat down, its monstrous tail wagging happily. "Give him the wurst," Drakken instructed Ron. "I think I've got a couple more in here."

Ron extended the sausage gingerly, hoping to keep the same number of fingers he started with, "You got more? I hear another one coming."

"Yes, yes," Drakken muttered, handing Ron more.

"This the end of it?"

"Yes."

"I hope they don't think that's an appetizer and we're the main course."

"I've got something else in here to distract them. Keep them happy for a minute."

From the corner of his eye Ron saw Drakken extract a long, green, fuzzy object from the bag and a small cylinder of compressed air.

Apparently the brats had put the dogs in a happy mood and they licked Ron, a sensation not unlike being hit with warm, wet blankets. "They like me!" he exclaimed while reaching up and scratching them behind the ears. "How did you know about the bratwurst?"

"Better Lair and Dungeon magazine last month," Drakken explained, fitting a needle to the air cylinder and beginning to inflate the ball. " Dementor named the dogs Hans and Fritz, for the unfortunate children of his teacher, Professor Katzenjammer."

"Unfortunate… Did they die young?"

"No, they were both girls."

"How is that unfortunate?"

"You want to be a girl named Hans or Fritz? Ah, here we go." Drakken held up a giant tennis ball, and gave it a toss. 

The dogs tore off in mad pursuit and Ron and Drakken ran for the castle. They had not gone far before the dogs came running back, and dropped the slimy ball in front of Ron to throw again. The men worked their way towards the castle, a few meters at a time, having to stop and throw the tennis ball, until a throw by Drakken hit a stone and bounced, rolling over the cliff at the back of the castle and one dachshund dove in pursuit. The other dog sat at the edge, whining at the loss of his companion, as the hovercraft rose slowly in the air, the rear end of a giant dachshund sticking out. The huge canine struggled to right itself, and in the process hit controls with its paws. Their last vision of Hans was a surprised looking wiener dog, heading west in a flying saucer.

As Fritz forlornly watched his friend disappear into the sunset Ron and Drakken reached the castle wall. Ron unholstered his grappling gun and fired the hook and line on a high arc onto the roof.

"Did you mean to do that?" Drakken asked.

"Of course not!"

"I didn't think so. Nice boxers."

Just around the corner they found an entrance, while the door was locked Ron suggested, "We can go in through the doggie door."

"I don't do doggie doors."

"Its four and a half feet tall!"

"I am a supervillain, I do not use doggie doors," Drakken said calmly. "You may enter and unlock the door for me."

Ron would have argued if he were not worried about Kim. Still uncertain if the blue man could help in his effort to find his girlfriend Ron quickly ducked through the opening and unlocked the door to admit Drakken.

The two pushed into the castle, wondering about the silence and lack of activity. The silence was broken, however, when a loud scream echoed through the corridors. Ron paled, "It's Kim," he gasped, "they're torturing her."


	9. You're My Rival, Not My Lover

The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. 

**You're My Rival, Not My Lover**

Both women were on their feet, searching the cell walls frantically and in vain for a weakness to exploit.

Pausing in her labors, Shego noticed that Kim had tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Princess."

"We're going to have to try your plan, aren't we? I mean, people might die, if we don't…"

It took Shego a minute to answer, "Damn, this is the first time anyone has ever cried at the prospect of making love to--"

"Don't call it that!"

"Okay, sex, I--"

"Don't call it that, either!"

"We're running out of options fast here, Princess, I… I see your point. Okay. You're doing what you need to do to save lives. Heroes do what needs to be done, no matter how distasteful… Cut a deal with you, Kim. I won't use the L or S word, and you don't speak of me as distasteful. Deal?"

Kim managed a small, nervous giggle, "Deal."

The pale woman gave her a reassuring hug. "We'll get out, Kim. Everything will be fine."

"I'm really scared. Do we need to start, ah, right away?"

"Probably. Neither one of us is in the right mood so I'm going to have to work extra hard."

"What do I need to do?"

"You need to try and relax."

"Like I can do that," Kim muttered.

"Hey, you're Kim Possible and anything's possible for--"

"I am so changing that name when I get married. No, I meant when we… you know… do I need to do… anything?"

"You ever done this before?"

"NO!"

"Then don't do anything but lie back and try to relax. I'm a little nervous too and don't need a novice trying something uncomfortable for both of us. Don't worry, you'll be in very good hands… and lips and tongue. And if I do a good job and we get out of here I expect a little payment in kind."

"No way."

"We can argue about it later, okay?"

"Okay, but no way." Kim looked frightened. "Do I need to take off my clothes now?"

"Not yet. You're too tense. Sit on the bunk and let me give you a little backrub."

Kim's eyes went wide as Shego worked on the knots in her neck and shoulders, "That's incredible, how do you do it?"

"A little plasma heat."

"Oh… Shego?" Kim whispered.

"Yeah?"

"This will work."

"What makes you say that?"

"We're sitting here, fully dressed, all you're doing is rubbing the back of my neck, and we've got the guards doing overtime checking on us."

"Okay, Pumpkin, show time."

Kim took a deep breath and unzipped the jump suit.

Shego stayed between the door and Kim to block as much of the sight as possible, Kim seemed to notice and appreciate the gesture.

"Lie down on the bunk and spread your legs just a little," Shego directed. "I'm going to kiss you where it smells funny."

"Shego!"

"Sorry." Kim did as directed and Shego softly kissed her way up Kim's inner thighs. The green woman's tongue gently circled Kim's mound. "Dammit," Shego hissed. "Relax and enjoy this!"

"I can't!"

"Kim, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone before. Close your eye and think of someone else. Think about Ron. Imagine him down here."

"I'll try."

Shego felt like she gave a five star performance, and wasn't sure Kim appreciated it. After more than ten minutes Shego heard Kim's breathing lose its regular pattern. The green woman scraped her teeth across Kim's button and the redhead moaned, "Oh, Ron!"

Shego returned to the task with redoubled energy and Kim gasped, "Ron!" when she finally spasmed and lay still. "That enough?"

"Not if you can ask the question. We can do better."

Kim wanted to protest, but Shego's tongue slid up her slit and Kim closed her eyes and imagined Ron again. The second orgasm came more quickly, with Kim still calling Ron's name.

Shego could hear henchmen fighting each other outside the door.

_"I can do better,"_ Shego thought and went for a third. When she felt Kim begin to tremble she reached up and pinched the cheerleader's nipples while she attempted to suck the little man out of the boat.

Kim's fingers tangled in Shego's hair, holding the woman in place as Kim began screaming. It felt like five minutes to the green woman before Kim went limp.

Dazed, Kim noticed nothing as Shego stood up, faced the door and smiled an invitation. When she finally propped herself up on one elbow Kim saw Shego going through the pockets of six or seven unconscious henchmen.

"Thanks for the help," Shego said sarcastically.

Kim almost said, "Anytime," but all that came out was "Wow!"

"You're welcome." 

"Will Ron do that?"

"Probably not… Not without help. Want me to give him some lessons?"

It took Kim a second to answer, "No," but Shego wasn't sure if Kim still needed to catch her breath or gave the idea consideration.

Kim's elbow gave way and she flopped back on the bunk, "Really, Wow!"

"You're babbling, Kim. Guys are the ones who babble after sex… Or they roll over and go to sleep."

"What are women supposed to do?"

"We get dressed and go home to our husbands."

A sudden thought scared Kim, "Does that make me a lesbian?" 

"No, but with luck it makes you less self-righteous and judgmental. And you owe me for that."

"I don't owe you anything. We just did that to escape."

"Oh, does Ron know you're selfish in bed - not caring about your partner's needs?"

"I not selfish!"

"Yes you are. Kim Possible is shellfish! Kim Possible is shellfish!" Shego chanted.

"I'm not shellfish!"

Shego slowly licked her lips, "Trust me, Kimmie, you are."

Kim blushed.

"You going to lie there basking in afterglow or get dressed?" Shego demanded.

Her knees still wobbly Kim got off the bunk and the women pulled on their jumpsuits. They locked the guards in the cell, but as Shego welded the door shut they heard the sounds of small arms fire.


	10. You String Along

Disney owns the various characters on Kim Possible. 

**You String Along **

Ron's response to Kim's scream was to run frantically, searching for her, although with the echoes he had no idea what direction to look. Left alone, Drakken's immediate response was to look for a place to hide. Luck favored the blue man, he opened a storeroom and blinked in surprise, "Ohh, shiny!"

"Will Dementor be at the ambush," Kim panted. She still hadn't caught her breath entirely and found keeping up with Shego difficult.

"Nah, there's a chance of being hurt. He'll leave it to underlings."

As they rounded a corner Ron ran full tilt into them.

He didn't know why Kim and Shego were together, but after helping Kim up from the floor he held her tight. "Are you all right? I heard you scream." He avoided eye contact with Shego.

Shego snickered at his question, but changed the subject. "Nice boxers, I think I liked the others better."

"Where are your pants?" Kim demanded

"Roof, I think."

"Reunion later," Shego reminded them, " Shake a leg, we need to find Dementor."

"Why is she with us?" Ron whispered as the trio continued their search. "And are you sure you're all right?"

"It didn't hurt a bit," Kim said dryly, "and I've got no idea what this is about."

"How about the shots outside?"

"Global Justice tried to rescue me. Apparently Dementor has sort of spy planted at headquarters who warned him to prepare an ambush. How did you get here?"

"I talked Drakken into coming to rescue Shego--"

"Drakken? Where is he?"

Startled at the question Ron looked around, "I don't know. He was here a minute ago, I swear."

"Should we try splitting up?" Shego asked.

"Safety in numbers," Kim replied, "We don't want him picking us off one at a time." _"And I don't trust you and want to keep an eye on you."_

When the firefight began outside Dementor had retreated to the security room to evaluate progress. He scowled as he watched the views from the exterior cameras on the monitor, Global Justice had sent more agents than anticipated. With the lower road blocked they would receive no reinforcements, but their defeat might take longer than anticipated. The German also wondered why he seemed to have fewer men engaged in the fight than he had ordered. He switched to the camera in the cell of Kim and Shego, and found it crowded with henchmen, only two of whom were starting to come to. "Götterdämmerung " he swore and began flipping through the various cameras in the castle, wishing he hadn't been so cheap and had installed more monitors. He finally located Kim and Shego, along with the blond youth whose name he couldn't remember, It appeared the three would reach the great hall in minutes. _"Nice boxers."_ Dementor seized a couple weapons and hurried to intercept them.

A number of doors opened into the great hall. Dementor stood patiently behind one, waiting to hear the voices of his foes. In villainy, like comedy, timing is everything and he wanted a grand entrance.

The trio stood in the hall. Kim scanned the doorways leading from the large room, wondering what direction to take. Shego scanned the paintings on the wall, wondering what they were worth. Ron scanned for a sign marked 'Men's Room', wondering why he hadn't listened to Drakken and gone before they left.

"I still say we should split up," Shego insisted. "You can go with Ron and hold his hand, but I work better alone."

"And I say we stick together," Kim retorted, "I want to know where you are at all times."

Shego shot Kim an evil grin, "I was that good, huh?"

"What did she mean?" Ron asked.

"Never mind, we need to find Dementor."

_"It's showtime,"_ Dementor thought as he threw open the heavy oak door and confronted the three. The stocky man held a pistol on them, "Und vhy ist you looking für me?"

"Give it up, Dementor," Ron called. "The tenth navy is on its way, you can't escape."

The professor seemed puzzled, "Navy? Ve ist on eine mountain!"

"Would you believe you're surrounded by the forces of Global Justice?"

"Mien men have der Global Justice agents pinned down."

"Would you believe there's a naked mole rat in your kitchen?"

"A rat in mein kitchen! Vat's he doink dere?"

"Uh, probably cooking lunch. He's a wonderful chef."

"Der Board uf Tourism vill revoke mein landmark status if dey see eine rat!"

"They haven't revoked it and they've seen Dementor," Shego whispered to Kim and the two giggled. 

"Schtop mit der laughing," Dementor commanded, "I--" There was a pulse of light, and everyone was in black and white.

"What happened?" Kim wondered aloud.

"Mein Spectrum Deleter," the Professor muttered.

"Drakken must have found it," Ron suggested.

"Drakken! Drakken ist here?" Dementor screamed.

"Well, yeah."

Another pulse of light, and the color was restored.

"I vill destroy you und find him before he zets off mein fürshlinger Nude Bomb."

_"Set off the Nude Bomb, please Doctor D, I'll never ask for a birthday gift again, just set it off now."_ Ron thought, looking over at Kim and Shego.

Dementor tried to raise the pistol, but found it took his all his strength to move it even slightly. The other three, seeing his struggle to aim the gun attempted to leap out of the way, but found their own efforts slowed to a crawl also. Dementor recognized that his Inertia Damper had been turned on.

When Drakken switched off the second machine Dementor's arm jerked up and he fired a shot at the ceiling before losing his grip on the pistol which went flying. Kim, Ron, and Shego crashed into the floor as their efforts to leap were completed. Dementor pulled a second weapon, an odd looking pistol none of them recognized, and threatened them. "You vill--"

Anything else he wanted to say was lost as the four of them, and anything that wasn't fastened down, fell onto the ceiling.


	11. When You Go, You're Gone Forever

Disney own the various characters from Kim Possible .

** When You Go, You're Gone Forever**

"Did the room turn upside down?" Ron asked as he cautiously stood up, or rather down, on the ceiling.

"It didn't roll," Kim pointed out. "Someone reversed gravity."

Drakken realized that in the storeroom as he tensed and tried to jump 'down' to the machine bolted to the floor. 

Shego found herself trapped 'above' a chair, while a heavy table kept Dementor from his disintegrator.

Kim readied herself to leap at the Professor.

Drakken caught the top of the machine and pulled himself down. He swung an arm, attempting to hit the switch and made contact, but only knocked it halfway. 

In the Great Hall Kim leapt at the moment the gravity shifted to neutral. Without gravity to pull her 'up' her jump went wide, and Dementor heaved the now weightless table at her to uncover his gun. Even without weight the table's mass stunned her. Ron hung in mid-air, trying to move with swimming motions. Hurling the table had sent Dementor drifting from his weapon, but he edged back and seized it. Ron managed to catch Kim, the two were now close to the floor, with nothing to offer protection between them and Dementor as he took aim. Ron pushed Kim behind him, feeling helpless as they drifted in the air.

Before Dementor could fire Shego dove, hitting him with a hard tackle. The two went spinning wildly through the air as Shego fought him for possession of the weapon. She got a hand, glowing with green heat, on it as three things happened. Dementor screamed in pain and fired, they hit the wall, and Drakken managed to turn gravity back to normal.

In the Great Hall Ron and Kim dropped a couple feet to the floor and dodged furniture falling from the ceiling, while the stone wall, weakened by the disintegrator, collapsed on Shego and Dementor.

Kim and Ron scrambled around debris, "Get her out!" Kim called.

The two threw rubble to the side. They found Shego first, her face covered in blood. "Is that you, Kim?" she moaned.

"It's me."

"Not sure I'll make it," Shego coughed. 

"You'll make it. You've got to."

"Could one of you… hold me… I don't know…"

Kim fought back tears, "Hold her, Ron… I have to find Dementor."

Ron gently laid Shego's head on his lap and softly stroked her hair as Kim dug for the German.

"Found him," she called shortly. "He's unconscious."

Soon they heard noises coming toward them, and hoped it wasn't Dementor's men. Instead a squad of Global Justice agents entered.

"What happened?" one asked. "Dementor's men and two of our agents shot up in the air, hung there for a couple minutes, and then fell down."

"Some anti-gravity thingee," Ron explained, using his technical vocabulary. "Anyone hurt?"

"Couple broken arms and legs. We're checking the castle now for more henchmen. Casualities here?"

"Shego," Kim said, "she may be dying."

The green woman opened her eyes, "I'll survive, check Dementor first."

"You lied!" Kim hissed as the medic knelt by the Professor.

"I'm in pain here, Princess, and I'd rather have you or Ron for a pillow than a brick."

"Move, Ron," Kim ordered.

"But--"

"I'll take your place."

The transfer of laps caused Shego to grimace in pain.

Kim found herself apologizing, "Sorry."

"Just can't stay away from me, can you, Princess?"

"Maybe I don't trust you and Ron."

"You can trust him. He loves you."

"Then why did he… with you…"

Shego tried to smile, "I said he loves you. I didn't say he's stupid."

Kim switched topics, "How bad's the pain?"

"I'll live. May have dislocated a shoulder, my face feels like a cat attacked me, maybe cracked ribs… But you've left me feeling worse."

Kim tried to laugh with little success, then noticed the GJ medic had joined her. "I'll give you something for the pain," he promised, loading a syringe.

"No!" Shego replied sharply. 

The senior agent came over, "What's wrong?"

"Drakken's in the castle, in Dementor's weapons. Got to find him before he accidentally kills us."

"Any idea where to look?"

"Nope," Ron said.

"No idea," Kim added.

"Call your men, tell them to listen," Shego instructed the senior agent.

"Ron, got a cell phone?" Shego asked.

"Sure."

"Call Pennsylvania six five-thousand."

"Why do you--"

"Do it!" Shego ordered.

"Do it, Ron," Kim seconded.

Ron punched in the number.

"It's ringing," he informed them.

Less than a minute after Ron made his call the walkie-talkie crackled with an incoming message, "We caught him, Sir."

"Great! His cell phone gave him away?"

"Not his cell phone. His shoe was ringing."

"Amazing what you can find at government surplus auctions," Shego murmured.

"Where'd you find him?" the senior agent asked.

"Appears to be the mother lode of Dementor's inventions."

"Call in help, secure the area." He smiled and returned the walkie-talkie to his belt. "The world just got safer."

Shego addressed the medic, "All my wishes granted, and I still feel like hell. Give me the pain shot."


	12. Red Gold and Green,

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Red Gold and Green,**

"Is Kim ready to go?" Ron asked. "Our ride leaves in fifteen minutes."

"Go on upstairs," her mother answered, "I know she's dressed."

"Hey, KP," he called, then paused and stared at her, "Why are you wearing the green and black rugby top Shego loaned you?"

"I thought we should give her some kind of support. We don't know how long she'll be in prison."

"I thought you might want to get her flowers or candy," Ron said holding up a brown paper bag.

"You bought both?" Kim asked coldly, "for her?"

"No, you pick one to give to her, I give the other to you."

"Sorry," Kim said, kissing him on the cheek. "You're right. We should both give her something. She saved our lives."

The hospital receptionist denied they had a patient named Shego there. When they questioned her on that a man in a dark suit, who didn't need to be wearing sunglasses indoors, demanded to see ID. He sent them to the east wing of the seventh floor. "Keep the ID out," he warned them.

The GJ agent on the seventh floor had his gun drawn, although the agent outside her door waved them in. They guessed agents watching a room two doors down guarded Dementor.

The number of flowers in the room stunned them. And Shego seemed remarkably cheerful as she lounged in green silk pajamas. "Come in!"

Ron felt like there weren't many flowers in his hand, but Shego seemed delighted, "I'll have a nurse get a vase. Love the shirt, Princess."

Kim smiled and nodded. "How are you doing?"

"Not bad. Won't be fighting you for awhile." Shego pointed to the plunging neckline of the pajamas, but only elastic bandages showed. "I'll be out in time to watch your graduation next month."

Kim reluctantly asked the obvious, "Won't you be in prison?"

Shego shot her an odd look, then laughed. "They won't be able to hold me," she boasted.

"Dementor did," Kim pointed out.

"Then how did you two get out?" Ron wondered.

Kim wished she'd bitten her tongue. "It… took… both of… us," she stammered as Shego winced in pain from laughing so hard her ribs hurt.

"A bet?" Shego suggested. "I make it to your graduation and you treat me to a chicken dinner?"

"No!" Kim hissed.

"You're a real prawn, you know that?"

"How am I a pawn?"

"She said prawn, KP."

"Well, what's a prawn?"

"A crustacean," he explained, "a shellfish--"

"I'm not shellfish!"

"If the half-shell fits, Princess. Hey, Stoppable, how do you know about prawns?"

"He cooks," Kim answered. "He's a great cook."

Shego smiled, "Modest, great sense of humor, and he cooks too? He's a keeper."

"He's mine."

"Very, very shellfish. Now, about that chicken dinner you owe me--"

"I don't like chicken," Kim insisted.

"Don't know if you don't try."

"What's going on?" Ron asked

"Just reminding Princess here that she owes me a chicken dinner."

Kim blushed, "And I'm telling her I don't like chicken."

"Sure you do, Kim, I see you eat it all the time."

"Ron! I--"

"Tell me, Ron, does she like dark meat or white?"

"Kim definitely prefers the breast." He wondered why Kim seemed so nervous.

"I'm not--" Kim sputtered.

"Hey, Stoppable," Shego interrupted, "want to have dinner with us?"

"Sure," he answered cheerfully, "I'll never turn down a free meal." At that point Kim hit him. "Hey! Why'd you do that?"

"For not turning down a free meal when she offered it to you," Kim snarled.

"Come on, Cupcake," Shego teased, "do you want Ron to eat dinner with us or not?"

"No! I mean, yes! Wait, I mean no… Darn it, you have me so confused I don't know what I'm saying."

"Well, if you don't want to dine out with me I suppose we could eat in, I seem to recall you're _very_ fond of eating in."

Ron had never seen Kim turn such a bright crimson and wondered if he missed something in the conversation. "Look, if you don't want me with you and Shego, that's okay. Or, if you don't want to take her to dinner, I'll cook something for her - she saved our lives."

"You won't have dinner with her unless I'm there!" Kim insisted.

"Told you that would be fine with me, Princess."

"No! No Ron!" Kim told Shego, "I'll take you to dinner by-- Darn! You have me so confused I don't know if I'm coming or going."

Shego grinned, "Coming, Kim, _definitely_ coming."

Ron had thought Kim couldn't turn a brighter shade of red than she had managed a minute earlier. He realized he was wrong.

Kim calmed down, "How about, if you make it to graduation I'll consider it?"

"Consider it? Doesn't that just mean you'll tell me 'no' later? What a lobster."

"I'm not shellfish!"

Shego's lip trembled as she managed her own version of the puppy dog pout. "That's okay, it's not like I saved your life or anything."

"Kim," Ron whispered, "I'm ashamed of you."

"Fine," Kim snapped. "Shego, if you attend my graduation, _legally,_ we'll have your chicken dinner. Are you happy?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The green woman lay back and smiled happily, "You've given me the will to live. And you'll relax and enjoy it?"

Kim almost found herself smiling, "I'll try." _"There's no way she can be there legally."_

"Can I come?" Ron asked. _"I'm missing something,"_ he thought as they both started laughing.


	13. Red Gold and Green

Disney owns the characters from Kim Possible.

**Red Gold and Green**

The voice of Betty Director, talking to the agent at the door, interrupted Ron and Kim's visit to Shego, "-- told him to call Scully and Mulder, it's not our job."

"What was that about?" Shego asked as the Chief entered.

"Some nutcase claimed a giant dachshund landed a flying saucer by the Usinger Sausage Company in Milwaukee and cleaned out the bratwurst."

Kim spoke up, "Dr. Director, I'd like to testify for Shego at her trial. She saved our lives when we captured Dementor."

Betty seemed surprised, "Oh, you would?" She glanced at Shego, who winked at her.

"Ron," Kim whispered, "say something nice about Shego."

"Nice about Shego?" Kim nodded. Ron didn't think before saying, "And she has very nice legs."

"You're going to kill me," Shego groaned as her ribs ached.

"I can't take you anywhere," Kim hissed.

"And they say there are no honest men," Betty smiled. "Kim, I appreciate your concern for Ninety-nine. You'll be happy to know we won't prosecute you for interfering with a Global Justice operation or putting an agent's life in danger."

"Ninety-nine? Agent?"

"Apparently she never told you. She went to Greece to meet her contact. He saw what happened and called us. We went to rescue her."

Shego watched Kim during the revelation. The redhead's eyes opened wide as she realized, _"Graduation."_ Kim looked at Shego who smiled and glanced over at Ron, then looked back at Kim, and raised an eyebrow - asking if Ron would be there.

Ron missed the exchange, and its meaning, but still felt confused, "But she's a criminal!"

"Attempted criminal," Betty explained while Shego looked uncomfortable. "About six years ago a girl younger than you dropped out of school and family to run away and become a villain. She was lousy at it, so bad a senior GJ agent imagined she could ignore regulations and bring little Shego in without backup."

"What happened," Kim asked.

"Shego beat the crap out of her, left her blind in one eye."

Kim stared at Betty's eye patch, "And?"

"And the nasty villain, instead of fleeing brought the agent to a hospital. She was in the lobby, crying like a baby, when the police came and arrested her without fuss."

"I wasn't crying!" Shego insisted.

"I'm just quoting the police report."

"You two are too young to remember the threat Doctor Drakken once posed. All our efforts went into trying to limit his damage. Dementor wasn't a pimple on the butt compared with Drakken. We couldn't stop him until I suggested Karma Chameleon--"

"Karma Chameleon?"

"Project to infiltrate Drakken's operation. Sabotage him from the inside, break his spirit. We trained Ninety-nine for six months, faked spectacular robberies to give her a reputation."

Shego smiled, "Drakken's HR people contacted me about a job."

"Ninety-nine said he was suspecting a traitor when you two entered the scene. You made life easier, he didn't have to look inside his own organization."

"And harder," Shego interrupted. "You made me look bad because I couldn't stop you."

"And you let me win," Kim whispered.

"Sometimes. At first. Then you started beating me before I could let you win. I started trying harder. God, I hated your guts for awhile." She gave Kim a wink no one else noticed, "I got over that."

"Drakken?" Ron asked.

"Oh, he hasn't been a real threat for a year or so. Spirit broken. But Ninety-nine had access to information on other criminals while working for him. We left Karma Chameleon in place--"

"GJ has a mole," Shego warned.

"We found him, Dementor kept payroll records for tax purposes. But you've been compromised. I'm afraid we'll have to cancel the project, can't risk your life. We'll pull Midas also."

"Hallelujah!" Shego sighed, "I'm tired of false colors."

"You're not really green?" Ron asked. The women glared at him, "Uh, sorry. What happens to Drakken?"

"We can rebuild him," Betty promised. "We have the pharmacology. We have the psychiatrists. Better than he was before. Better, saner, and hopefully working for us."

Betty dismissed them, but before they left Shego begged, "Please come back, you're the closest thing I have to friends."

Ron glanced at Kim, who nodded yes. "We'll be back," he promised.

After the preliminary debriefing Betty asked, "What do you plan to do now? Stick with Global Justice?"

"I'm really not sure. I think I'd like a normal life. I earned my GED. Maybe I'll try college, if I can persuade the right apartment mates to join me."

"You sound like you have someone in mind."

Shego looked toward the door Kim and Ron had used.

"One of them? No way in hell will you break them up or come between them."

"I don't want to break them up. They're a good team. I'm hoping they'll let me come between them a couple nights a week."

"Wait, you're talking about both of them? Ron _and_ Kim?"

Shego smiled, "Why not?"

"Well, for starters, he's a guy and she's a girl."

"Tell me, Chief, would you divide the world into the people who like beef and those who like chicken?"

Betty shrugged, "Okay. I'll go with beef. I want a steak."

"I'm not surprised. You should be more tolerant."

"I still say, no way in hell."

"It's too late for them. They have tasted the forbidden toothpaste, and you can't put the fruit back in the tube."

"You were with Drakken too long. Want to see a psychologist?"

"Maybe I should. But they've had recent 'experiences' which left them wanting more… I'm hoping to be part of more."

"No way."

"Call me in a couple months."

--The End--


End file.
